Reaction to Why I’ll Never Date a Feminist

A day ago, a St. Joseph News-Press columnist published a piece titled “Why I’ll Never Date a Feminist”.  It’s ok, Dave. We won’t date you either.

“The truth is, I don’t blame women, (especially in my generation) for hating men. They’ve been told there’s a wage gap (I disagree). That there’s a culture of rape on college campuses (I also disagree). And the patriarchy is keeping them oppressed in almost every facet of their lives (I reallyreally disagree.)”

Sure. Because we only believe in what we’re told, right? It’s not like we have personal experiences and encounters with inequality. It’s not like we have facts. We’re just whining about trivial, nonexistent issues which are not real in any way at all because we love the idea of oppression.

“I was a cashier at an Italian restaurant in high school in the early 90s. I worked with a boy, also in high school, and learned he made more than me when we compared pay checks one day. Neither of us had any idea that we were being paid differently for the exact same job. I complained to the boss, one of the owners of the restaurant. At first, he tried to justify it by saying the boy was a grade older than me. Finally, he admitted that he just thought boys should be paid more. End of story. I was infuriated.” – Margaret, Los Angeles

“[Forty-five years ago], when asking my boss for insurance for myself and my child, I was informed that males in the company were married, so they got family insurance, but I was female and not married so I got squat.”
I repeated what my boss said back to him to see how it sounded to him. He shook his head and self-righteously said: ‘yes, a man with kids gets insurance but not a woman with a child.’ I was shocked and felt demeaned.” Jane, Lynwood VA

“My husband and I graduated together and got the same job at two different companies. I was hired a few weeks before he was. In his final interview, he mentioned I was being paid $33,000, so his company bumped my husband’s pay up to $36,000 so he would be earning more than I was. I started at my company at the same time and for the same salary as a new male graduate – but the company advised him to start a day before me so he would always have seniority over me.” – Cassandra, San Francisco

I knew for a while that others were paid at a higher rate compared to me. I just accepted that and I don’t really know why. I guess I thought I just wasn’t as good and others were slightly more experienced. I am an engineer and have a masters degree in my subject (and a lot of student debt to go with it), this is necessary for my job role, and this is my first company after graduating. I am the only female engineer. Others in the same role as me were less qualified, studying part time and having their fees paid for by the company, and also getting at least 1 day per week study leave. It was when I found out that their study day was not unpaid but paid at their normal day rate that I got angry and upset. I was fully qualified working 5 days a week. They were unqualified, earning 50% more than me and working only 4 days per week.I asked for a raise to match the others’ day rates. I stated my case and said it was not fair and that I would leave if it was not resolved. I was nearly fobbed off with a much smaller raise but I said again that I would not take anything less than being equal to the men. My supervisor agreed reluctantly. – Erin, UK

adapted from The Guardian’s article

 

Hysteria, hysteria, hysteria. We’re all just so hysterical.

“Women are more likely to graduate college, they live longer, are less likely to die in the workplace, less likely to go to prison and extremely less likely to die in war-time combat.”

You see? We’re so lucky. So very lucky. We have it all good. We should just stop complaining because it turns out that we don’t have any issues that need to be fought for anymore!

“It’s evident that gender politics is hurting our culture. More marriages are failing and women are reporting that they’re unhappier now than ever.”

Women everywhere, let us just abandon the cause of equality everywhere because it’s obviously making us unhappy. Why would we want equal pay, the right to choose and social justice? Logically, it’ll break up the peace and sanctity of our marriages and make us unhappier because “the increased opportunity to succeed in many dimensions may have led to an increased likelihood in believing that one’s life is not measuring up (from the enlightening Slate article linked to).” Woe us.

“There’s plenty of examples of how the justice system has failed victims. But, it also fails men….Often times, anti-male or anti-female rhetoric is rooted in a previous bad experience. They’re cultural opinions that reflect our world views, and thusly, affect how we want to raise our families”

Feminism = equality for women. I’m very sorry if you automatically see that as inequality for males. That is a slippery slope that leads to one illogical conclusion: feminism must be abandoned because it’s anti-male.

fem·i·nism
ˈfeməˌnizəm/
noun
noun: feminism
  1. the advocacy of women’s rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men.

I assure you, it’s not. The whole point of feminism is to draw attention to women’s rights. If you want to draw attention to other inequality issues, by all means, go you. That does not and should not negate feminism. That does not and should not mean that feminist attention towards women’s inequality should be suppressed or subdued. It’s very sad that in this day and age, there exist groups and ideologies that belittle, mock and even oppose a movement whose entire goal is to advocate women’s rights and equality.

 

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